Things I have learned to be true: college edition

I am poor to the point that I now buy off brand tampons.
I have sworn off the salad bar after a case of food poisoning.
I love walking around with my backpack on. It means I don’t need to go to the gym.
I don’t feel bad about eating out. It’s a reward at the end of the week.
I have great friends.
The trash can is always full.
No one cleans.
My homework is always done last minute, as there’s always another assignment that takes precedence.
I miss real food.
Twin sized beds aren’t bad.
Walmart’s clearance aisle has everything you could ever need.
Windex is for everything.
Vacuums are for wimps.
So is antibacterial soap and hand washing in general.
We don’t do laundry until we’re out of pants.
Students really are driven to drink.
The frats with bad reputations earned them.
Pepper spray and stun guns are necessary.
You will doubt your major choice.
You will be disappointed by your classmates.
But overall, you’ll love the experience.


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